Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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