I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
