Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
