my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
