sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
