some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
