so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I intend to get homeless drunk
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
