Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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