CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You're earring is so big in my mouth
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
