you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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