Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee http://tfl.nu/kgs2
  Replies (28) Good night (2661) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town http://tfl.nu/6oiy
  Replies (13) Good night (4042) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina

  (804): View more from Virginia

  not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina (804): not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote http://tfl.nu/mq8t
  Replies (33) Good night (1016) Bad night (4115)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them http://tfl.nu/qx93
  Replies (13) Good night (4023) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him. http://tfl.nu/bmxc
  Replies (23) Good night (1160) Bad night (2888)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it http://tfl.nu/8y6r
  Replies (10) Good night (2537) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/uf58
  Replies (15) Good night (762) Bad night (3787)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito? http://tfl.nu/ycrz
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing. http://tfl.nu/fjwm
  Replies (5) Good night (393) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste' http://tfl.nu/jrl8
  Replies (11) Good night (1911) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings http://tfl.nu/tlmy
  Replies (5) Good night (1119) Bad night (1480)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving

  (1-818): View more from California

  At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving (1-818): At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it. http://tfl.nu/g80b
  Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand. http://tfl.nu/rlmw
  Replies (4) Good night (506) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game... http://tfl.nu/bxkh
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!" http://tfl.nu/7rwd
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (201)

Randomize