Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Everything about him screamed your future.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Man, jail baloney is awful.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.