i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
