I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza