Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.

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  (248): I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you. http://tfl.nu/rwr0
  Replies (1) Good night (1152) Bad night (569)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.

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  (843): THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in (843): Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine. http://tfl.nu/rmt2
  Replies (5) Good night (693) Bad night (2512)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk

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  (864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://tfl.nu/iikf
  Replies (10) Good night (4801) Bad night (593)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.

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  (610): I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace. http://tfl.nu/hmhd
  Replies (48) Good night (7692) Bad night (1150)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom

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  (847): she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/dcxm
  Replies (26) Good night (842) Bad night (4503)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?

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  (419): Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie? http://tfl.nu/tj9i
  Replies (83) Good night (6299) Bad night (2125)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

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  (937): don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit http://tfl.nu/p5pp
  Replies (18) Good night (3787) Bad night (847)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend

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  (+44): I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend http://tfl.nu/iyod
  Replies (17) Good night (3777) Bad night (1528)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH

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  (480): West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH http://tfl.nu/ntsd
  Replies (12) Good night (4149) Bad night (1013)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

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  (516): I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?" http://tfl.nu/niuk
  Replies (38) Good night (6992) Bad night (1270)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.

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  (931): Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame. http://tfl.nu/0khd
  Replies (23) Good night (4598) Bad night (1340)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.

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  (502): if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords. http://tfl.nu/tyuw
  Replies (9) Good night (966) Bad night (3187)
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  (530): View more from California

  regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle

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  (530): regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle http://tfl.nu/1njn
  Replies (10) Good night (3505) Bad night (1859)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??

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  (250): WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT?? http://tfl.nu/ty5z
  Replies (9) Good night (1253) Bad night (4029)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.

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  (616): I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once. http://tfl.nu/2lkb
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (272)

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