Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk

  (678): View more from Georgia

  discrete masterbation is a lost art

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk (678): discrete masterbation is a lost art http://tfl.nu/z067
  Replies (32) Good night (780) Bad night (2811)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  "I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): "I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face." http://tfl.nu/mi59
  Replies (27) Good night (1319) Bad night (4307)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle. http://tfl.nu/baj8
  Replies (52) Good night (2540) Bad night (8120)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there. http://tfl.nu/zqp7
  Replies (13) Good night (1433) Bad night (6413)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me http://tfl.nu/lmdm
  Replies (20) Good night (6674) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?! http://tfl.nu/tpho
  Replies (19) Good night (1270) Bad night (2480)
• Favorite

  (653): View more from

  I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (653): I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver. http://tfl.nu/za76
  Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (1028)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (4695) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night. (571): just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom http://tfl.nu/0d08
  Replies (4) Good night (2281) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1nuc
  Replies (7) Good night (1164) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits? http://tfl.nu/du6g
  Replies (6) Good night (3252) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it http://tfl.nu/3uov
  Replies (8) Good night (1324) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over. http://tfl.nu/37bx
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night? http://tfl.nu/w38g
  Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP http://tfl.nu/hem1
  Replies (2) Good night (476) Bad night (339)

Randomize