Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls. http://tfl.nu/2r1d
  Replies (9) Good night (832) Bad night (3767)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night http://tfl.nu/maqo
  Replies (23) Good night (3869) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma http://tfl.nu/d8kr
  Replies (9) Good night (1013) Bad night (3359)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby http://tfl.nu/0zlt
  Replies (13) Good night (4471) Bad night (1648)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister. http://tfl.nu/4jvf
  Replies (15) Good night (4543) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary http://tfl.nu/rsxr
  Replies (5) Good night (2477) Bad night (1298)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks http://tfl.nu/m24y
  Replies (6) Good night (2898) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo http://tfl.nu/4u98
  Replies (2) Good night (1488) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!! http://tfl.nu/7xwk
  Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great. http://tfl.nu/bj70
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne. http://tfl.nu/l6oj
  Replies (2) Good night (443) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun. http://tfl.nu/8rfr
  Replies (7) Good night (1207) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl. http://tfl.nu/2tvq
  Replies (10) Good night (881) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  welcome to college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila. (763): welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/etvj
  Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch. http://tfl.nu/w52p
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (239)

Randomize