I puked a lego.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
