your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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