i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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