Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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