Im at strip club and am horny
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
