that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
