We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize