Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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