dude i'm inner monologue high
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
