so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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