Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
