the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
