i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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