She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
