I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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