He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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