So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
