i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
