The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
