I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
