you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize