I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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