You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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