At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I deserve this hangover.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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