i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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