i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
