sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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