brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
