That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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