so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
