this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
