Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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