so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
NoShamevember. You game?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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