I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
