Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize