nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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