i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
