If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
