Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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