is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize