if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
