that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
