I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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