Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
