You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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