her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
