I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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