he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize